Slightly mollified, the crowd dispersed but one student was overheard to grumble, "The older generation just can't seem to get its act together. The threat of peace hangs over our heads at every turn. We've got to fight for our right to fight."

"I do not understand why we aren't selling more on the world market. We have over 200 SP per turn available for sale and contracts for only one quarter of it. Despite what some of you may think, I can read and it says right here, " (the Minister jabbed at page 10 of the latest issue of the Sirromian News Bulletin) "that 1200 SP was purchased on the private market at, I may say, outrageously high prices while 5300 MP were sold at ridiculously low prices. Write to me. Speak to me. LET'S MAKE A DEAL!"

"Since the beginning of hostilities Our Beloved Queen has felt that the war has been Her fault and it has plagued her soul. She has been under the care of Dr. W. H. Orvil but it has been to no avail and She has become mentally disturbed. Her letter to the Journalist, the slaying of her sister, and the declaration of war on Oceania have proved her unsound state of mind.

"With this evidence the House of Peers has declared the Queen 'In Royal Abdication' under the Rules of Combative Kingship and Royal Orders Legalizing Lords (ROCK&ROLL).

"Any citizen coming in contact with Princess Sadian should contact the local authorities. She is considered armed and dangerous."

Keep your eyes peeled for additional lottos to come, featuring payoffs in Agriculture (vegetarians only), Minerals, and Supply. Play Gopato Lotto and Win!!!

"This treaty is an amazing success," Juri Nicotin, Revered Leader and First Citizen of Serbia was quoted as saying. "It's amazing what you can get these days for 100 cartons of Winstons and a few dancing girls."

Details of the treaty were not released but insiders say that it promises a quick and horrible destruction for any nation that foolishly attempts an attack on either country.

Sverige leaders were unavailable for comment.

"Your gullibility has ruined us," intoned Sant Behinrranwale, who promptly left to fortify the Golden Temple against possible invasion.

"I once consumed the flesh of a cow and now the Lord is punishing us," wailed an unidentified elderly Sant who proposed that "we close our borders for another three centuries or until we are worthy."

"Help! We have fallen and can not get up..." cried another.

"My fellow Sants," thundered the supreme Guru, "Are not the Iraqi-Moons (sic) a benighted nation named after the ass of Saddam?" (murmurs of agreement), "And, have not the opium merchants of Woodstock, err, I mean Woodmont, already taken one-fifth of the enemy? (murmurs), "And, have not rich subsidies flowed into our treasury from the enlightened Gopati as Patel promised?" (murmurs), And finally, having observed the legions of Hell, does it not seem that even the lowliest Xenophobe private is a relative military genious compared to the Prince of Evil?" (laughter and wild applause) "Then we must bring our neighbors enlightenment and the Iraqi-moon must set!"

"Princess Wilhelmina married Dino de Ulm, Kaisser."

"My own daughter married the son of that flatland swine, President Von Ulm?"

"Yes, Kaiser. And Von Ulm is demanding a dowery."

"A dowery?? Preposterous!"

"If I may be so bold, Kaiser. Might I suggest that we give them our colonial holdings in 80-04? You know, endless vistas of swamp, and a couple million hungry illiterates clammering for citizenship."

"By thunder, that's a capital idea! And Dino can organize a movie studio out of that Light Industry we captured! The public's bound to grow bored with the interrogation of those captured Concordian postal clerks. Maybe we can avoid the bite of Ulm's TV movie embargo after all! Call me a lawyer - where's Hell's hotline?"